My comment to Chuck's blog.

Yes chucky. Sometimes i wish God would just smack me in the face every time i think about doing the wrong thing but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Why do i keep having the desire to do stupid stuff that i know is wrong? because i'm selfish. Sin makes me angry. Angry at the devil but mostly angry at myself. I can walk into a situation and expect to be tempted to fall and yet I still can't stop it. I'm too weak on my own. Luckily, through Christ we are given strength to overcome our trials and persevere like James taught. I like to equate this strength with the grace of God. It's a gift, something we have to accept before it takes affect. Which, realistically, is the hardest part of the whole process. We tend to accept it one day and put it to the side the next for our own pleasure. So, at that point, have you really accepted it? In Shane and Shane's song "beg" they say,"I'm haunted by my God who has the right to ask me, What, by the nature of my rebellion, I cannot give?" We put off our acceptance of it because it may require a few sacrifices, letting go of our comfortability, or going against our rebellious nature. Now I'm not trying to say you're not saved just because you keep sinning. I'm saying that by living in even one "small" sin causes such a separation from God that it's hard to call it salvation. We will fail. We're sinful by nature but what makes the difference is realizing that we are sinning and taking action to repent and turn a complete 180 degrees. What does that action look like? Well it depends on who you are as to the specifics of taking the best steps to get rid of sin but there is one staple in everyone's process...here it comes again.....awakening. Matthew 6:33 says, But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Seeking His kingdom...sounds like awakening to me. To possess the burning desire to see His face, wow. That's awesome. I'm getting there but once again, my selfishness gets in the way. To combat the inevitable obstacles, what do we do? We pray. Study His word. We support each other. But most importantly we love, always.

2Timothy 2:1...You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus,

2 Corinthians 2:10b-11.... if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.

All you need is love

"Love slays what we have been that we may be what we were not." St. Augustine

I tend to agree with the Beatles, God is love. He's all i need. So for intro to ministry we have been reading this book called "Love Beyond Reason." It's actually a really good book, but for me there is just one big problem with it...it requires reading. I never have been much of a reader, okay I've probably finished like a book and a half in my life, but what evs. But this book really has a lot of good things to say and i want to share some of them and what they made me think about. So the book is obviously about the many forms and aspects of love. The author, John Ortberg, talks about rag dolls. He begins with a story of his sister's rag doll and the unconditional love she had for it. How it had started beautiful. Flawless "skin" and clothes. As the years went on the doll became much more ragged and to the outsider it looked grotesque but his sister's love for the doll never faded. Well obviously Ortberg tied this to the love God has for us. We were created perfect. We sinned. Now we are rag dolls. Every one of us is ragged in our own right. But God loves us still. Here's what I got, God doesn't just love us "in spite of" what we do wrong. He loves us because he wants to.

"God likes to love you." Ortberg.

That's humbling. I think i've been through this before but why would the creator want to love me. Before Jesus healed the leper, the man said to him "If you choose, you can make me clean." but when the father of a possessed girl came to Jesus he said "If you can..." The leper only doubted whether Jesus would want to heal him not if he could. Good news...he does want to heal you. You may not be a leper but you have problems. And not only can God heal you, He wants to.

"It may be a very bad thing that I needed God to die for me, but it is a wonderful thing that God thinks i'm woth dying for."

Wow. so, now we get that part. Here's the doosy. We aren't just ragged, that's not everything we are. We are also called to be holy. Guess what that means...we are called to love the rest of the rag dolls. Ortberg went on to talk about how no one has seen like Jesus saw. That is my wish...to see through his eyes. Brandon Heath has a song out called "Give me your eyes." Listen to it. The lepers, the prostitutes, beggers, tax collectors. He saw them while they were invisible to society. And he touched all of them. literally. Christ could have looked at them and healed them but because he cared so much for them he touched them to do it. Heal the flesh, heal the soul. So, as Benji was talking about on sunday, we have to give all of ourselves to others. Die to self. (no that's not getting old and it never will) Jesus never looked down his nose at anyone. No matter their position in life he saw them all as children of his father. How many times have you casually shunned someone even today because of their iniquities or simple differences?

I want to give you one more story from the book. There was an 8 yr old boy who's sister had leukemia and would die without a blood transfusion. The parents didn't match so they asked their son if he'd give a pint of his blood. He told them he'd think about it overnight. The next day he told his parents he'd do it. So, they hooked the children up and transfered the blood and as the boy lay there and the doctor came in he opened his eyes. The boy asked the doctor "How long until I start to die?"

"Love is never so fully love as when it gives." Ortberg

Give all of yourself. Not just for the sake of loving God but for the sake of loving everyone else through Him.

Living a controlled chaos

Hello friends! So i'm back in good ole KY. I don't want to be. After this amazing weekend I never wanted to leave. I know I already spilled my feelings the other night about how awesome it all was and what it meant to me but i'm gonna do it again. At least a little. So the message of the weekend was to Die to yourself. That sounds like such a simple thing but it's probably more profound than anything. The concept of giving everything up. Not necessarily selling all your posessions or anything but realizing that everything you own including your thoughts, hopes, and dreams belongs to God. And even more difficult, carrying yourself on a daily basis in a manner that satisfies God and shines the light of Christ where everyone can see it. It was honestly really easy for me to talk to the boys about the difficulty of stepping back into the world and doing all the things we said we would during the weekend. I come back here and i'm surrounded by sin, people that don't care about me or God, and a lack of true friends. The latter may be attributed to my new found picky nature but it's definitely a good thing. But I have to watch myself and not get too detached from friends my age because that connection is necessary for my ministry and witness. (The fact that 3 of my best friends have a combined age of over 100 tells me somethin. lol.) So, it's a big balancing act, I have to not be friends with "the world" and yet maintain the necessary connections in order to fulfill my mission in God all while dedicating every second of my life to the Ultimate Glory of God! In other words, the message this weekend really hit home. and i was the one doing the teaching. So while it is awesome to teach I still have so much to learn and I want to stay filled with the desire to do so. God has lit a fire under Stock Creek Baptist Church and I fully believe that the current leadership is in place fully by devine ordination. It was His will to bring us here at this exact time: His plan is in motion to make some big changes in the hearts of south Knoxville and like Benji said it's been a long time comming. Well, the time is now and it's our job not only to teach the youth about God's word but to live as a constant example to those who are watching. So, what does it look like to die to yourself? I think it looks different in every person's life ,but, in general, His will before yours, his plan before yours, his glory before yours. Once again, all you have belongs to Him, He is just merciful enough to let you borrow it for a while despite your faults. Seek the face of God. Learn the heart of Christ. Immulate it to the closest degree.

Thank you all so much. You're all a blessing in my life and I thank God every day for bringing you into my life. I've changed dramatically for the better in the last year and a half and I owe it largely to you. I love you all very much and pray you will always be in my life. Like I said last night, I've learned how to cry. Typically that's a weakness in men but it's because you all have shown me how powerfully emotional God is. And to that I say, let the tears come. God bless you all.

Carry it with Confidence

Hello. For those of you that have been anxiously awaiting I am ready to share again. I'm not a fan of writing random blogs (not that it is bad) just not my thing. So that is why I have been waiting. I want to tell you all why I chose the name "Bearing the Armor." I believe all of you were there for Dave's sermon which was awesome. (you're my boy dave) SO that's obiously where I initially got the idea. However, I kinda took it a diff direction. The armor bearer's attitude was the biggest part of the story to me. His entire job is to serve royalty. I like to picture Jonathan as one of those "princes" who is really nice to all his servants and helpers so i think him and his armor bearer were probably friends. I kinda feel like they had to have been. This kid (the picture in my head is a teenager) trusted Jonathan with all his heart. A little recap: Jonathan was Saul's son and the two of them and 3000 men were hiding in caves from a much larger Philistine force. After waiting for a while jonathan decided to confront the Philistines. He told his Armor bearer that the two of them were going out of the cave. The armor bearer said, "Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul." That is devotion. The concept of what Jonathan was suggesting could have easily been considered suicidal. The number of Philistines was incredible. And yet, the armor bearer vowed to follow him through any obstacle. They went out and, with God on their side, defeated about 20 men which caused the rest of the army to surrender in fear. But, while that's amazing, there are more inspiring aspects. First, Jonathan trusted God to keep His word and protect them. And then, the armor bearer's trust and devotion in Jonathan. On a daily basis, I walk into a battle. Good vs. Evil. Sometimes it is an outer battle with evil people or ideas. But most of the time its a battle within. A constant tug-o-war with the devil who appeals to my sinful nature against Christ in me. However, I am not the warrior in this daily battle. I simply do my best to bear the Armor of God. While He defends me and gives me strength to contribute to the fight, I take up his armor and fight for His glory. So, in the story, I truly admire the armor bearer's trust in Jonathan and I hope to reach for that level of trust in God and be able to charge after the enemy with the full belief that I will win every single time. Are you the warrior in this story? or the armor bearer? Find your place as a part of God's army. You may lose a battle here and there, we are human, imperfect, our trust falters. But I promise you'll win the war. More to come.....to be continued. God Bless.

13Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to
withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14Stand
therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the
breastplate of righteousness, 15and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the
readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16In all circumstances take up the
shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil
one; 17and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is
the word of God, 18praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and
supplication.

You gotta have faith, faith, faith.

Hello again. So like a week ago at church Benji was talking about listening to what God wants us to know for next year(which is now this year) and for once, when Benji said listen...I did...and I heard something.You see,usually when a speaker gives me time to listen to God right then and there I listen but God decides not to make anything too clear.Which is ok. He usually waits till I'm alone so to say the least I was a little surprised. Anyway....lately I have been doing some research in Biblical history on stuff like Mt.Sinai, Noah's Ark, and the Ark of the Covenant. When Benji gave us some time I decided to read the whole Noah's Ark story. I was very entranced with every little detail and remember marveling at the size of the Ark. A boat that is longer than a football field entirely built by hand with no modern tools(obviously). Now what really amazed me about the whole story is that rain is not documented prior to the flood. The world then was much different then the one we know today. There was a thick layer of moisture beyond the atmosphere that kept plants watered which created the Eden-like conditions ( from vast knowledge of Rick Mays). So, it is possible that no one had ever heard of rain nor did they have a necessity for it. When most people think of faith giants they think of Abraham, Job, or the Disciples. We tend to overlook Noah. The insanity of his task was enormous. I can't imagine what others said when Noah starting building the huge ship and telling them that water would fall from the sky and flood the earth. I know I would've called him crazy. SO I contemplated everything I had read for like 10 minutes and then finally got smacked in the face. Why would I randomly read a story that I had heard a million times? Duh. God wanted me to read it. Why don't I listen to God? Men like Noah were commanded to do insane tasks and did them without question. He built without hesitation. I may get an occasional "hey spens, go encourage that guy." How many times have I said "I will later." What does convenience to me have to do with anything? I let the fear of consequences hinder my judgement. Maybe its peoples opinion or difficulty of the task but there always seems to be some excuse. Every time we tell God no we lower his commands to optional requests. They're not guidelines or even rules. God's commands are a lifestyle yet we still somehow justify telling Him no. Luckily, He doesn't need me. I am a replaceable piece of God's plan. While that may seem to demean the importance of my role, it in fact does the opposite. Why? Because no matter how many times I say no. The King wants me. How humbling. Like the CEO of a big company. He could hire anyone for the job, but he chose me for it and pursues me. For those that may have insecurities(aka everyone), what could bring more security than knowing you are wanted. Not by just one person but by the Creator. So, what was God's message for me to share for the year? No matter what the circumstances, no matter the consequence or lack of convenience: Listen and have FAITH. It'll take you places spiritually that you've never imagined. God Bless.

New Blog

Hey everyone. This is my new blog. Everybody has been telling me i should start one and God has been speaking to me lately and I need a way to share it. This way, if you want to hear about it you can just read it. So, i hope to share some things that affect some of you in good ways. Hope you all enjoy.